Leaps & Bounds

Since returning from vacation I've noticed a lot of changes in my little man.  People told me I would barely recognize him after a week away and while that's not entirely true, I definitely feel he's gaining skills daily!

For starters, he's blond now.  He had medium to light brown hair before I left him and after a week in the cottage sun he is full out blond!  I swear, he must have been sitting out with Sun-In in his hair the way his highlights look!

Second, my blond bombshell is noticing things he never would have before: boats out on the lake catch his eye, a tiny bug on the ground has his full attention.  Isn't it funny how only months ago his eyes couldn't even focus on my hand in front of it and now he's picking out things both near and far.

And third, he's pointing at these things he's noticing.  Pointing and looking at me to see if I see that he's seen something.  Its hilarious how he looks for approval for even the smallest things. "See Mom, see how I see that thing over there?  Do you see me seeing that thing?"

And fourth - he's eating like a champ!  From spitting chunks out of his yogurt to fully chewing pieces of pasta!  As much as people said he would eventually get the hang of eating its such a relief to see him chew real food and SWALLOW it!

And lastly, he's lost his zombie-walk.  Up until this past week, even though he's been walking for a while, he walked with his arms out in front of him as if he were ready to fall at any moment.  All of a sudden he's gotten comfortable in his walk, arms at his sides, strolling around.

Such a lot of changes in what seems like such a short time.  I recognized him when I got back but he did indeed change a lot!

Stressed, Exhausted, Excited....it's all starting to feel the same...

The past few weeks have kept me hopping as hubby and I prepare to leave on a jet plane to Puuuuunta Caaaana this Friday.  In the miriad of planning and packing I've had little time to worry about missing Zackie which I think is for the best.  It's funny how before the vacation was booked, I probably didn't need a vacation but BOY do I feel like I need one now!

To start off, I've gone off an anxiety med that I sincerely felt I didn't need anymore - bad timing?  Perhaps.  Also, I'm not sure what came first, the stress or the migraines but they really seem to be feeding off each other.  This has led to everything little thing sending me through the roof - just ask my husband!  Our pool pump crapped out (on our "let's keep it cuz it's already here and it won't cost us anything" pool) and with the impending trip we had to make a snap decision to buy a new pump or drain the pool.  This week.  And implement said plan before Friday.  And of course hubby "isn't sure" what we should do so he'd like to think about it for a month like most other decisions he makes. *SIGH* I found a friend willing to sell us one but that meant I had to find time in my very busy week to drive out to my ex-work and pick it up from her - it was AWKWARD.

Zack has been a trooper, going along on trip errands but he's also been skipping his naps.  Which means Mommy is skipping her naps as well.  A Mommy who isn't getting her nap isn't one you want to mess with.  I guess hubby missed this memo because he nonchalantly throws out another dozen things we need to do before Friday and since he's working every minute up until we leave, these tasks have been added to my list.

And my dog either suspects we are leaving her or just hates me because she's decided to destroy something everytime I leave the house for an hour.  Yesterday it was a box of crackers - note to self, always put away groceries!  I left the non-refridgerated items in the bags on the floor in the kitchen and my (over-fed) dog helped herself to a box of Olive Oil and Cracked Pepper Triscuits.  It didn't look like she even ate any, just ripped the box to shreds like she was a mafia member sending a message.  MESSAGE RECEIVED!

Thank goodness for vacations - it's nice to have the chance to completely stressed out before I go and relax it all away!

The Votes Are In

I gave "shopping around" a try over the last week or so and I can honestly say it's not easier then price matching!  The biggest problem with it I've encountered is I wind up running out of time.  Even with the help of a sister or two (because I always have Zackie in tow), the schlepping in and out of stores and driving around is simply not worth it - big surprise right?  But I honestly thought I could tackle a few stores each day and it would only take me a couple days.  What better way to spend a weekend with a toddler?!  It didn't work out so well because by the time we left home with our lists it was past 10am and we really needed to be home by about noon for lunch and nap (mine and his).  The consensus - price matching (although annoying) far outweighs shopping around based on convenience alone.  I realize this should not have taken a rocket scientist to figure out but price matching seriously causes me stress!!  I have since devised a plan to pick out the youngest, least interested cashier for optimal coupon and price matching usage.  It seems to be working so far!  I have friends that are incredible at couponing and price matching though so my next task is to learn from them.  My job as "Mom on a Budget" just keeps getting more and more exciting!

Re-thinking Price Matching

I have recently caught the price matching and couponing bug that is all the rage right now!  It seems to make perfect sense to try and save some money while we are a single income family.  And what a great way to save time, going to one store and getting all the prices that are advertised all over the place.  Little did I know that my nerves might not be cut out for such an extensive project.

So far, I have "price matched" twice.  My first experience was pretty good; I made a list, I took Zack to the store and I organized my cart according to flyer.  The only real trouble came at the cash.  Being a fairly non-confrontational person, I found it stressful to justify each purchase but the cashier was patient and we got through it.  And the savings were undeniable - almost $40!  How could I go wrong?!

Today's experience was a little different.  To combat the large load I anticipated, I brought my sister to help entertain Zack and so I could use 2 carts.  The same amount of prep and planning went into the trip and this time I thought I'd throw coupons into the mix.  I found the shopping a little chaotic. Since I write my list by flyer it takes me to all different departments and I find myself back-tracking more then I would like.  But I digress, this was all in the name of savings so I persevered.  Zack started to meltdown but still I powered on.  My trouble started at the cash.  I should've known as soon as I put my first flyer down this cashier was not going to work with me.

I know price matching can not be as enjoyable for the cashier as it is for the consumer but seriously?  This is something the store as arranged to do so I think cashiers should try harder to get on board!  I was careful to choose items that were the same brand and size as advertised in the flyer but this cashier picked apart my entire order.  She wouldn't let me get one of my frozen juices for the sale price because the ad had a picture of fruit punch but said "frozen punch" and I had one fruit punch and one citrus punch - still punch!  I was trying to purchase paper towels that were one sale, an 8 pack for about $4 but the store only had (same brand) 6 packs.  I was willing to take LESS (the 6's) for the same price but they said they couldn't match because it wasn't the exact same - darn it!  And any produce I had was vetoed because the pictures showed certain brand names even though the description just said "US produce" - ugh, so frustrating!  It's a good thing I didn't attempt any meat that had complicated "per pound" pricing!

I left the store a little discouraged.  This was supposed to be so easy but I felt like I had done something wrong (maybe because the people waiting in line behind me were cursing about how long I was taking).  The cashiers I have encountered have not made me feel good about trying to save my family money - they've made me feel guilty for giving them extra work and self-conscience of my flyers and lists.  I'm beginning to wonder if I wouldn't save myself some stress by simply traveling around from store to store for the deals.  I have the time in theory to do this even though it would mean dragging my son all over town and lugging him in and out of the car.  Is the physical work worth the stress reduction?  I think this calls for an experiment, results to follow!

Looooooong Weekend!

I am happy to say that we made the most of this past long weekend!  We are notorious lazy people in my house, in pj's all day, watching lots of TV and basically just getting nothing done.  When we get the chance to sit still, we really live it up! 

As usual, hubby was working Friday/Saturday but me and Zack helped his Auntie Tee get ready for her prom!  This included picking her up from her nail appointment, driving her to get her hair done, taking her for lunch and then back to her house to get dressed before pictures - basically we were her chauffeurs but we really enjoyed seeing her get ready to have a fun night!  We even went to the limo pick up to get pictures of her, her date and Zackie before they departed.  We wanted to enjoy all the sunshine before the "rain" people kept talking about finally came.  At home I prepared for "price-matching" shopping on Saturday morning.  If you've never heard of this or never done it, I highly reccommend it!

Zack and I set out with our flyers on Saturday morning and saved almost $40 on groceries!  Our first mission successful - details to follow another time.  Imagine my surprise when hubby showed up home from work by 12:30!  We made good use of the beautiful afternoon by getting our backyard organized - finally my new patio furniture is going to get the recognition it deserves!  In our race against the inpending "rain" we got the table up, the sand and water table built and the gazebo started.  The rain never showed but the backyard was starting to come together.

Sunday morning, my brother came by to help hubby move the hideous shed beside our house to a less conspicuous postion.  They did this early to avoid the "rain".  Several drops fell but they managed to get the shed in place without too much of a problem.  After Zack's nap (who are we kidding...I napped too), we headed out to watch the horseraces and fireworks!  My little guy loves animals like nobody's business, launghing at all the horses everytime they walked by.  That alone would've been enough to make it a great day but it didn't hurt that we won almost $20 as well!

Today's plan included indoor activities to prepare for the inevitable "rain" that was still expected.  Off we went to the bowling alley with a group of friends and their kids.  Although not an avid bowler, I had a lovely morning being an "alley-cat".  Once the kids were losing their cool, we all decided to risk the "rain" and enjoy lunch on a patio.  We almost made it safely out of the weekend when one of our compadres remarked on a definite lack of "rain" this weekend.  Wouldn't you know it, it started to rain right then!  We mad-dashed inside and had our lunch under the cover of a roof.  Since we gave up our patio spot, the rain quickly stopped and now the day is almost done without any of the "thunder storms" and "rain showers" that were promised this weekend.

We were so happy to have a lot of quality time together this weekend and to be so fortunate to enjoy beautiful weather!  It was great seeing Zack have fun where ever we took him and so nice for us to be able to take him along on all our adventures!

Happy Mothers Day

The differences between last years Mothers day and this years:-

Last year - spent a sleepless night at my parents house to be closer to the hospital so we could have an early morning visit.

This year - slept blissfully and even managed to sleep in a little because hubby got up early with Zack.

Last year - had a Mothers day breakfast sans child and felt very self-conscience as well as anxious to finish so I could get to the hospital to see my baby.

This year - skipped breakfast in favour of a leisurely shower and opted for a Mothers day lunch at home to avoid dealing with a cranky baby at a restaurant.

Last year - no gifts or cards because both hubby and I were too busy and stressed to think about it.

This year - adorable hand-painted flower pot and cards from Zack & my puppy.  Also, the best gift of all, a smiling child!

Last year - depressing dinner with my in-laws, during which I felt too sad to eat.

This year - a lovely visit from my parents for gift exchange and a mere phone call to the in-laws resulting in a stress-free day!

All in all a successful day with many contrasts to last year.  I think I'd like to consider this my first mothers day because not only was it a wonderful day but I definitely felt like a mom this year!

The Things I've learned in One Year

I'm a little behind on this post because my baby-man turned 1 last Friday (!!!) but I have been suffering from Bronchitis for the past week so it's taken me this long to feel up to thinking hard enough to write.  Please bare with me as I try to remember all the things I've learned in the past year.

1. Every phase/rough patch passes.  In the first days of Zack's life, I found it hard to believe that things wouldn't always revolve around feedings and diaper changes.  All those sleepless nights seemed to stretch on into my future and the very thought made me physically exhausted.  I am so grateful to have the knowledge that nothing lasts forever.  Not only will I use that fact to get through difficult phases he goes through but also as a reminder to cherish his childhood.  Each age and stage goes so quickly - take lots of pictures, write lots in the baby book/journal and enjoy every day (even the cranky ones!).

2. You can (and will) survive on little to no sleep.  Time after time I've woken up feeling tired or sick and not sure if I could push through the day.  With my baby in my life I've no option but to suffer through some days very tired because there are no sick days in mommyhood!  And guess what?  I survived and lived to do it all again the next day.  This isn't to say I don't enjoy extra sleep when I can get it but I'm confident in the fact that life will go on whether I've had 8 hours or 3.

3. A smile can change everything.  This one seems pretty obvious but until I saw Zack smile for the first time I'd never felt my whole body give in to such a simple concept.  The love between us is so simple and pure that his smile, laugh and general good mood is extremely contagious to me!  It is such a natural high to have someone effect me in this way!

4. I am my child's biggest advocate.  There was much medical confusion in the early days of Zack's life as my husband and I struggled to understand all the jargon that was thrown at us.  Ultimately it took a few weeks for me to realize that the doctor's weren't running the show - this was MY baby and I had a say in his care.  I began making requests, asking for more information and stating what I thought needed to be happening.  I've never really been responsible for another life before and this has been one of my biggest challenges.  As hard as I find it to speak up at times, I will not hesitate to tell someone what my son needs.  If my father-in-law is trying to make him play when I can see he is obviously tired, it's not bitchy to make it clear that it's time for a nap - Zack needs me to stand up for him.

5. I am still a good mother even if I do stupid things.  When Zack was about 4 months old he hit his head pretty hard causing a bruise and I wanted to crawl into a whole and die.  Since then, we've had plenty of mishaps, falls and even bad decisions on my part but ultimately I always have his best interest at heart (even when I left him suck on french fries) and therefore I am a wonderful mother.

I'm sure there are more and even deeper lessons I've learned over the year but these ones are the ones that stand out.  I knew being a Mom would be different then anything I'd ever taken on but I didn't expect it to change me as much as it has.  As I continue to shape Zack's personality, he is doing the same to mine.

For the Love of Dodgeball

As silly as it sounds, I love dodgeball!  It's a new-found hobby but I became addicted in the fall when a friend invited my husband and I to play in a recreational dodgeball league!  Two seasons later, hubby has picked up night school classes but I am still holding tight to my dodgeball nights.

Here's the scoop: I've been laid off a couple times in the recent years.  In fact, the whole time I was pregnant I was unemployed.  As an adult I have spent a good chunk of my extra-curricular time doing nothing extra OR curricular - and it shows.  I've gained an unflattering amount of weight, I know far too much about TV and I suffered through a stint of post-partum depression.  I attribute much of my motherly-energy and positive outlook to dodgeball!

In a life that felt jammed packed, dodgeball has opened a door to Zumba classes, ceramics, evenings out with friends, walks with my husband and countless daytime activities with Zack.  We can't wait to get out each and every day!  Even when the weather is bad we find something to do around the house (crafts, books, practicing our somersaults) and I have never been busier or happier!  I have found strength, energy and drive within myself and I owe it all to dodgeball!  Tonight is the first game of our play-offs and although we aren't even in the running to win, I'm very excited - let's go Ball Masters!!

Our First: Walking & Walk-in

We have lift-off people!  My little dude is officially walking!  He's been right on the cusp for a few months now but always sunk down to his knees to crawl when he wanted to get somewhere fast.  Just this past week he's taken the leap to walk on his own from point A to point B.  It's adorable because he looks so incredibly proud of himself while he's doing it!  It makes me look forward to all the milestones we have in the future but I am also struck by the realization that he is not a baby anymore! 

We also had the misfortune of making our first trip to the walk-in today.  I jinxed us by telling people we'd almost made it one year without an illness and then pow!  - he got a cold just at the end of winter.  We've been riding it out and he's been such a little trooper but when I got home from a mom-to-mom sale yesterday I could tell he had hit a wall.  We had a puking incident earlier in the week (wherein my husband stood in the hallway holding him at arms length, looking like a deer caught in head lights while the puke from their clothes dripped onto the carpet) so we thought we had seen the worst of it.

Saturday afternoon my heart could have broken for him.  My usually energetic, newly walking baby was reduced to a sad little puddle on the floor.  He seemed to not even have enough energy to open his eyes, let alone do the happy dance he normally greeted me with.  We decided to give him a little medicine and see how the night went.  We must be the luckiest people on Earth because through his entire illness I think he's only had one poor nights sleep - we got a solid 10 hours out of him.

Still, he wasn't himself this morning and his chest was rattling when he coughed so we thought we'd feel better having him looked at.  Fast forward through a couple of very stressful hours spent in a walk-in clinic - another first for us but one I had hoped to put off for longer!  Poor Zack, he didn't know if he wanted to be up or down, hugged or left alone so thank goodness my husband was with me to trade off taking him for walks while we waited.  We held it together until the nurse had to take his temperature.  God love my husband but he can't be tough in these situations no matter how hard he tries!  When we need to do eye drops, hes useless at holding Zack still and pinning down his hands.  The temperature was no different; he couldn't seem to find it in himself to hold Zack's head still.  I hate to hear Zack cry as much as anyone but I have no problem being tough when the moment calls for it - they can't help him if we don't hold him still!  Calming him down from the experience was no easy feat - several rounds of our fail-safe song, the Golden Girls theme song.

I've seen some parents doing crazy things in public and wondered if they were embarrassed or not.  I can tell you from experience - they are NOT!  I found myself bouncing, jiggling & hopping down the aisles of Fortino's while singing "thank you for being a friend", loud and proud (because that's the way he likes it) this afternoon with not even a glimmer of shame!  When I realized I would sacrifice my pride to keep my baby happy that's when I thought I must be growing up.  And when I realized a whole half of my birthday had gone by without me even noticing because what did a birthday matter when I had a sick child?  That's when I knew I was growing up!

Vacay Revamp

In honour of our little man's one year milestone, we sort of predicted we would be ready for our first family vacation this spring.  I had visions of warm sand, ocean waves, maybe even a cruise!  As the year has progressed however, I find myself wanting to plan things specifically for Zack to enjoy.  Sand, sure.  Water, absolutely.  But now I'm picturing a sandbox and a pool...maybe with a toy boat thrown in for good measure.

A big part of me wants to do an all out kiddie vacation - Disney World, Great Wolf Lodge or something of the like.  The logical part of me knows that a one year old is too young to fully appreciate all that these locations have to offer.  Is it a waste for us parents to go somewhere "parent-friendly" with our child?  If we simply crave the beach and ocean waves maybe we should go just the two of us.  But at this stage it's also silly to fully invest in a child-centered vacation that he'll never remember.

It seems that, for now, our vacation needs are little more then a new surrounding for Zack to explore, a comfy bed to rest our heads and a few "exciting-to-a-one-year-old" activities thrown in.  We've come along way from our newlywed Mexico adventure but we're still a ways off from a fun-filled Disney excursion.  I'll enjoy the simple things along with Zack (and save my money) in the meantime but I'm still longing for strawberry daiquiris or Mickey Mouse!  Perhaps a Niagara-Falls-hotel-with-a-pool getaway is in our near future...

April Fools!

I indicated on Facebook this morning that I'm excited my little guy, Zack is going to be a big brother!  Don't get me wrong, this is absolutely true - he will be a big brother ..... some day!  This was the best prank I could come up with on short notice.  Last year's consisted of phoning my parents under the pretense that I had gone into labour - they were not amused by that, to say the least. 

Today has got me thinking about how miserable I was this time last year.  Yes, I said miserable.  I truly thought nothing could be worse then the uncomfortable pain I was in.  Little did I know that emotional pain could be far more complicated and unbearable then anything I was currently experiencing.  April 1st, 2010 had me begging to be induced but only a month later I would be struggling to understand medical jargon and how I was supposed to leave my infant at the hospital.  The first few weeks of Zack's life are a bit of a blur.  He was diagnosed with Neonatal Abstinence Syndrome roughly 24 hours after his birth - this is a fancy way of saying "way to go Mom, you messed up".  Due to a rib fracture he caused in utero, I was prescribed Tylenol 2's with Codeine and in turn Zack suffered from withdrawl so severe the doctors said it was comparable to if I had been a heroine addict.  Words cannot express the guilt, fear and turmoil I went through over the next month as he was weaned off of Morphine.

Needless to say we had a rough start but here we are almost a year later and I can talk about the possibility of a future pregnancy - something I couldn't have done in those first weeks after he was born.  And to think I didn't even know him this time last year!  Someone who I spend all my time with, laugh with constantly and watch turn into more of a monkey every day, didn't even exist a year ago!  I'm so proud to be his Mommy and am willing to take all the guilt, fear and turmoil that sometimes go with that because I now know smiles, giggles and slobbery kisses go with it too!